Week 6 was always going to be the toughest. The cumulative effects of the radiation treatment were bound to be at their highest. In my head this was the final week and final countdown, but I now have the two extra days next Monday and Tuesday. Although that doesn’t sound like it’s too much extra, the thought of leaving on Friday and having yet another weekend knowing I must return, is a real struggle.
The tablets for nausea have certainly helped and I have now stopped feeling sick all the time. It does still come over me in waves but it isn’t constant. I tend to feel really ill as I enter the hospital, with the nausea and dry mouth causing me to gag constantly. I think this is more anxiety, fear and apprehension as any physical cause. The tablets that I am taking for this are steroids. You receive a card with your tablets that you should show your doctor saying that you must come off them gradually.
Monday 10th November – Day 26 of Radiotherapy
Usual Monday morning seeing the head and neck nurse, swallow/throat nurse, and the oncologist. I really enjoy seeing the nurses as they give me a real lift for the week, they fully understand how you feel and offer great advice. Whatever your needs they can find a solution and offer you practical ways to get through the days. Although it was technically my last week they offered me the chance to see them again the following Monday. I jumped at the offer to see them one last time, their support has certainly helped me get this far.
I saw the oncologist (Mr Davies) for the last time. He is a very easy going and laid back man. He makes you feel incredibly comfortable and relaxed. Again he is very willing to offer solutions to any pains or illnesses. There is no debating whether you need extra drugs, they are offered immediately. His relaxing manner did catch me out again though and I managed another Freudian slip. Calling him ‘Doc’ once again!
Tuesday 11th November – Day 27 of Radiotherapy
Every day Kerry sits and watches me walk off down a corridor for my treatment. She hears talking and noise and then when the radiographers leave she sits and watches the ‘Beam On’ sign light up. When she sees this and hears the beam, Kerry knows I am going through this awful treatment. For Kerry that has been one of the hardest parts.
Over the last 6 weeks I have obviously built up a rapport with the radiographers and today I was a bit cheeky and asked if Kerry could come in and have a look/take some photos. As always they were more than happy to oblige. Kerry and I knew this was our best opportunity as both machines were undergoing their regular maintenance checks. This meant that all of the patients receiving treatment that weren’t for’ head and neck’ had a day off. The waiting room was almost empty.
Kerry managed to get some great pictures of me with my mask, the machine and me in position for treatment. It meant that she had a much better understanding of what happened behind the corridor. It helped her to feel more at ease and I wish we had done it several weeks earlier.
The only caveat to the photos was that none of the staff should appear in the photos.
(Photos below this blog page).
Wednesday 12th November – Day 28 of Radiotherapy
The countdown began. I gave out a big cheer after my treatment. Only 4 more treatments to go, 2 of which I have been told will be shorter and less harsh. I can really see the light.
Thursday 13th November – Day 29 of Radiotherapy
My daughter has been away working a lot but was home for a week. She had been up Wednesday to see me and had said she would come to the hospital with me today, Friday and on my last day. This was a lovely treat for me and some company for Kerry in the waiting room.
I gave another roar at the end of treatment – 3 to go!
Friday 14th November – Day 30 of Radiotherapy
I had some mixed emotions today. On one hand it was the end of the treatment that I had been having for six weeks, but on the other I still had to endure another weekend knowing that I would return to Poole Hospital on the Monday. It was great to have Sharna here again.
Monday 17th November – Day 31 of Radiotherapy – The Best Laid Plans (and all that)
Over the weekend two of my close friends had offered to take me to the hospital this week. Kerry and I turned down the offers as Kerry desperately wanted to be there for the last few days. I also wanted her there as I wouldn’t feel obliged to make conversation and wouldn’t feel awkward if I started gagging in the car etc.
However Kerry was taken ill on Monday morning. She tried her best to get up and get ready but there was no way she was fit enough to drive me all the way to Poole and back. Because the decision was so last minute I decided it was too late to ask anyone else and drove myself. I kept it quiet from the nurses as I don’t think they would have been best pleased.
That evening my best friend Jason came round again. He has been fantastic all the way through my treatment, visiting me several times a week and talking to me about football, politics, life, Portland and generally anything other than Cancer. His visits have given me a lift throughout. Tonight he said that he was off work tomorrow and would be at the hospital for my last treatment.
Tuesday 18th November – Day 32 of Radiotherapy – My Last Day
To say I was emotional would be an understatement. I have stayed strong throughout the last six months. Although there have been moments when I have cried/let down my guard, I certainly always tried to maintain a ‘stiff upper lip’. Today was different. I had Kerry, Jason and my daughter with me. I could feel the love and the willingness for me to complete my treatment. I have made some good friends amongst the other patients in the waiting room. We all share a common bond – we all have cancer. Despite our different backgrounds we could all empathise with each other. It was emotional to be leaving them behind.
As I walked down the treatment corridor for the final time I was already starting to feel very emotional. I could feel tears running down my face as they bolted me to the table one last time. In my head I was thinking ‘I hope the tears don’t effect the treatment to the side of my face’.
45 seconds later and it was over. I cheered for joy as they removed my mask for the final time. I put on my clothes and walked back down the corridor to my waiting family and friends. I was overcome with emotion and collapsed on the nearest chair sobbing with relief that it was finally over. Words failed me as I tried to compose myself.
Over the last 6 weeks two of the radiographers had really stood out to me in their mannerisms, willingness to listen/help, and their general compassion. Both were there today and I got to thank them personally for all their help. I say I thanked them; it was more like a baby sobbing in their arms as I hugged them!
My six weeks of treatment were over.
Although I never had to return to Poole for treatment I still have a long way to go in my recovery. The radiation will not peak in my system for another ten days and then after that I will start to slowly recover. But for now I will celebrate the end of the treatment. It has been a personal trial that I would not like to repeat again.